how to spend a sembreak

Author: zereporthej / Labels:

ever since the start of the school year, i have been looking forward to the sembreak. but unfortunately, i have too many activities to attend to; making it impossible for me to even breathe. why is there even a sembreak if it's just going to be consumed by stress?
~o~

i.RSSPC.
we arrived at morms later than most of the other divisions. and the opening parade welcomed us with all of the rest of the divisions lined up in the back ready for the long walk. but it doesn't matter because i don't even want to be in the parade in the first place. i mean, the sun is blazing hot and i sweat a lot, the kind of sweat that you can't just fan away.

i just wanted to see the familiar faces from STEP RSDC and there i saw some members of the camarines norte parliamentary team and some from naga and to my surprise led samartino [masbate parliamentary team member] was there too. and just her sight refreshed all my memories about how badly they spoke, how shallow they thought and how sinister they looked during the awarding. but i didn't have time to fret over all that's happened in a relatively long time. after all, i had to worry about the broadcasting competition before anything else.

ii.radio broadcasting
on our way to guinobatan, we were informed that the broadcasting competition will be held on the first day. of course i was shocked because we would only have just arrived and still tired of the travel not to mention i have only had one day of rehearsals. i was barely ready. so, we didn't attend the opening program instead, we practiced for about an hour until we thought it was enough.

to be blunt, i am not that convinced of some of the people that our coach chose as newscasters. they were barely qualified if the criteria considered are voice projection and diction. ivy and i discussed how we can awaken their potentials and use their strong spots to the team's advantage because there wouldn't be a chance to replace them. lol. after rounds of rehearsals and teaching them how they should deliver their reports, i was fairly satisfied although not ecstatically contented. that would be another story.

~o~
the actual competition was very tiring. the first hour was set for the lecture, the next for the news writing, the following for the rehearsal and the last for the presentation. i guess you could call the contest an amazing race because not only did we confront a number of obstacles, we also had to transfer from one building to the next and we did that fore two times; making us occupy three buildings.

the first building was where the lecture took place and the first quarter of the news writing. right in the middle of our writing, the lights turned off. but the facilitators didn't do anything so we kept on writing using only the light from our cellular phones. finally, after about twenty minutes of writing in the dark, we were told to transfer to the main building where we continued to write the script and the news. when we finished, the facilitator told us to eat our dinner. we were allowed to have a break for fifteen minutes which emphasizes my amazing race proposition. i ate like a hungry horse swallowing and swallowing, gulping and gulping. as soon as i finished, i ran right back to the building and went over the news articles of my newscasters, telling them how to deliver their articles.


the next minute, we were again told to transfer to the library where we can practice some more. talk about amazing race morms edition. so we did. there we polished our script, how we'd deliver it and rested to harness enough energy for the presentation. while i was sitting i noticed this girl behind me and since i was not that tired i started a conversation. she was really gregarious and she reminded me of a friend from IV-newton, france.

when it was our turn, i wasn't nervous because i know we had this perfected and we only had to suffer for five minutes. and it started...we began the presentation with a strong intro... bicol prime 101.1!!

everything was going so smoothly until my last newscaster stammered and mispronounced a single very simple word. my broadcasting world came crumbling into small pieces to the point that i bit our script, turned around and almost yelled of frustration because i even read to him his whole article so that he wouldn't get tongue-tied. but the show had to go on.

we ended the show with a strong extro.

going back to the room, i had a chance to think. i had a chance for it all to simmer down. although we might not be able to bag the award for best presentation, i could still be the best anchor. and that was what i kept hoping for.

~o~

on the day of the awarding, we first went to a resort in the heart of guinobatan since it's too hard to find a vacant and water-equipped bathroom in morms.


during the afternoon, all of us were too anxious to the point that my allergic rhinitis attacked me again. waiting for the radio broadcasting results seemed like an eternity but when it finally came, it was like i wanted everything to stop forever. but it nevertheless did not. when the award for the best anchor was being presented, i crossed my fingers for my name to be called but much to my dismay, i did not make it.

the next awards did not matter much except the award for best presentation. we were 2nd. it was okay because i knew we didn't did too well [well, at least one of us didn't.] so, just for the sake of receiving the award i went up the stage and had the medal put on my neck. smiled for the cameras and went down. frustrated and angered at myself for not being better.

but i realized all i had done was what the spur of the moment required me to do. and that's all that matters.

and, i did not have the right to criticize my newscaster's ability. after all, offering a helping hand is better than pointing an accusing finger.
~o~

p.s. i met a lot of people! that's one of the best things in participating in events like this!

~o~

Tabaco Prime 101.1
"Entertainment at its BEST, finding TRUTH is our Quest!"
Tabaco Prime, News Line
"Fostering understanding through Fearless Broadcasting!"

~o~
  • sembreak-it's the time of year that allows one to contemplate on things that need or need not be, where revelations may arise and changes may occur or it may just be a brief pause in one's academic career, allowing one to take a rest in between all of those schoolwork.

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a scribe is born

Author: zereporthej /

for as long as time is aware of it, i have been dreaming, hoping, wishing for a literary achievement. but failure never failed to cross my path as a writer. it has been too long since i have last been recognized for my writing and i feel like my skills in it is slipping into the dreary oblivion.



competitive writing has never been my niche. i only won a competition once and i don't even know if that was really because of my ability or just mere luck. after that, cobwebs covered my writing hand. i know very well that writing should not be regarded as an outlet for selfish indulgences in winning tilts but rather as an outlet for expression. however, we can't deny the fact that being recognized once in a while can serve as a great motivation for anyone. and not being recognized made me feel that i did not belong in the world of literary arts.

~o~

last year i entered the sci-math competitions essay writing contest and defeat once again looked me in the eye as if killing every ounce of the passion that i had for words. not being included in the top three made it even worse. this year, when my adviser asked me to join again, i was hesitant to say yes but because i needed the extra grade, i agreed.

the sci-math essay writing contest required me to join the school level first before i could enter the division level. i wasn't worried because the facilitator told us that the top four will advance to the next level and i was sure i would be included. after the school wide contest someone had told me that i won first place, so i was obviously hysterically happy. but when i was called together with the other qualifiers, i learned that the information was false. i was only, officially, fourth. it struck my ego like lightning would strike a helpless tree.

well, at least i can compete in the divisions level. i went to and fro the ST building for the cliniquing; trying so hard to improve my writing but my coach did not seem to like whatever i wrote. as a consequence, the remaining fire for writing i had burning inside me had vanished into thin air. not to mention the anxiety that was attacking me because of my competitors who were really very able opponents. this had finally made me lose hope of qualifying in the top three at all.

the time has come. i walked in the room labelled: essay writing contest. i sat down on one of the dilapidated armchairs and waited for the facilitator. before i took hold of the pen and scribbled on the paper, it conditioned myself that no matter what the results, win or lose, i need to be grateful that i know how to write at all. right then and there, i started writing; keeping in mind that writing does not exist to arouse frustrations but to satisfy intellectual thirsts, vent caged emotions and serve as the medium to impart ideologies.

i wrote and wrote and wrote until i forgot that i was writing.

it was then that i realized that i was thinking too much of winning when writing offers much more marvels than the sensation of worldly triumph. writing brings you to a world wherein anything is possible, where nothing isn't real. and that was what i forgot; that i was born into a world of literary sanctuary, where millions of combinations of words bring life to a writer's soul. and that was when i dubbed myself a true writer.
and so, a scribe was born.

p.s. i won the contest [1st place]
...but that was just the extra!
...i got what i wanted and more.



release all your inhibitions and let the course of nature flow within your veins.
it is then that you will truly embody your identity.
~o~
  • scribe- an upholder of literature whose sole purpose is to deliver literary arts while cultivating ideologies for the common good without an attempt to accomplish selfish tasks.

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justice

Author: zereporthej / Labels:

and i heard the gavel's tap for one last time. it was like the last shovel of soil was thrown into the pit where the corpse of my parliamentary dream lies; next to the decomposing body of JUSTICE.
one thing that the parliamentary rule books of orendain, juan and robert did not teach me is how not to expect justice to reign every time, that not everything is governed by fair law and just rules that abide to what is the absolute truth. sometimes, something interferes and counters the power of justice. something that is designed to wreak havoc for selfish reasons and eventually impels gross embarrassments.
~o~

the prestige of the STEP RSDC parliamentary procedures was made fouler than a joke when the STEP officials proclaimed masbate as the regional champions and we were 2nd to them.

losing would not have been too big of a deal if it were to naga or camarines norte who were competent enough to join the national level where the best high school debaters flock to twist their tongues in battle for the championship trophy. the national parliamentary procedures competition is more violent than wrestling and more bloody than pacman's boxing matches. here you can reach the sensation of mental orgasm just by exchanging strings of words with equally competent parliamentarians when raising a point of order and having them sustained. and this overpowering emotion is the reason why i love parliamentary procedures in the first place. but it is ironic that we compete for the purpose of proper, organized and fair proceedings only to be requited with it's complete opposite. injustice. there will absolutely be no way that masbate will even finish their demonstration without being mopped tortuously by all of those regions' best parliamentary teams.

we did our best and we were the best.
the day of the competition started with horse-paced heartbeats, sweaty hands and racking nerves but we channeled all of those towards competitiveness and thus adrenaline arose. we were the first to present and we executed the skills so fluidly just as we always do in the regionals and only one point of order intervened. we finished with our heads held high and smiles from ear to ear, taking a victorious bow; confident of triumph. as the competition progressed, our idea of the ranks was getting clearer. but what was last to our list was first in the judges'. masbate province, home of the enternet cafi.

 masbate.
they started with a horrendous presentation. the presence of fluidity, reasoning, diction and logic was nowhere to be found. and so all the teams anticipated they will be the last in rank. especially that they also have negative four points of order. while we were the obvious champions. who would miss their grotesque mispronunciations of the words newly [nyoli], seconded [secunded] internet cafe [enternet cafi], rescind [rescend], motion, [musyon] and many others? not to mention the weak and senseless reasoning which they used to support their propositions. they also overused the authority of the gavel.

all these errors broke the whole pavilion into teary laughters not knowing that the next day, masbate will be awarded as the regional champions. camarines norte, naga and our division were flabbergasted when we saw the ranking. i even thought it was a joke for a second and then i thought they misplaced the numbers for another but time ticked and tocked and there was no change.
1st: masbate
2nd: tabaco[us]
3rd: naga
4th: camarines norte
5th: albay

the ranking from 2nd to 5th was actually correct except that masbate was scooped from the last spot and placed on top. obviously, this is something to be suspicious of so the coaches of naga and camarines norte offered to help protest against the judges decision but much to our dismay our coach refused. it was something that struck me so hard because we've been to and fro the nationals for 2 years and after all that's happened, this is the time she gives up, when the injustice can still be inverted.

nevertheless, she stood by her belief, she stood there looking as if nothing happened, as if the one month of grueling practice and three days of turmoil was nothing but a time that passed. we sought comfort and the real spirit of alliance in the beings of the naga and camarines norte parliamentary teams who nonetheless treated us as if we were the proclaimed winners. giving us the loudest screams, the most outrageous claps and a standing ovation when we were called up on the stage.

now this is justice. we might not be the winners as written on documents but at least everyone knows that we are the real champions. that we are the best parliamentary team in bicol.

it is better to be triumphant losers than bittersweet, unworthy winners.
and in the adjournment of it all, we have always been honest and fair in the game of life.

~o~

i would also like to grab this chance to say that the new members of the tnhs parliamentary team have earned their permanent spots as reputable parliamentarians who are competent and knowledgeable. they proved their stance as undeniably skilled parliamentarians with the manifestation of their innate potentials. we proudly pass on to them our burning legacy as the unbeatable parliamentary team of the tabaco city division.
we weren't wrong to have picked you guys.

~o~

the TNHS parliamentary team's purpose

to foster understanding,
to cultivate excellence,
to develop camaraderie,
to initiate dynamism,
to lead actions
and to realize the goals of the parliamentary procedures.

~o~
  • justice- the use of authority to gain the knowledge of what is true which will eventually lead to the upholding of what is just, righteous and above all, fair.

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a battle of brains, tongues and technicalities

Author: zereporthej /

in order to be a fully competent parliamentarian, one should have broad thinking, eloquence in speech and knowledge in the proceedings but most of all, one should have sufficient competitiveness.
the past two years that i spent as a member of the TNHS parliamentary team has been more than fruitful for i gained more than experience, more than trophies, medals or certificates, more than improvement in the command of the english language, more than knowledge in parliamentary procedures. i especially gained the prudent intrepidity of competing and being a competitor above all else.

our first year has been the most rewarding as we yielded the national championship trophy for the parliamentary procedures with kuya elp as the presiding officer. in our second year, when mr. chair and the other graduates departed from TNHS, ellen took over as the chairman and together we competed once again in the regional level where controversy arose because of a breach in the calculation of points, nevertheless we were the official regional winners. although we failed to defend our position as the national champion in davao city, we justified our stand as able parliamentarians of region V.

this year, our third and last chance of representing the tabaco city division in the regional level, is proving to be the most difficult year. even though we have been practicing hours and hours a day for the purpose of improvement the undeniable lack of discipline is dominant resulting to an almost wasted effort of presenting motions and deliberations. nevertheless, because we all want to return to baguio, where the 7th national STEP skills development and competition is going to be held, we still try to be the best that we can be.
~o~

  1. BRAINS- of course it is not unknown to those who are versed in the parliamentary procedures that one of the most vital elements to be a qualified parliamentarian is wit. this is mainly because in order to be able to participate in a mentally stimulating debate, one should as well be mentally equipped. simply put, intellect is the prerequisite of being a full-blooded parliamentarian.
  2. TONGUES- another is the command of the english language. one should be able to express his thoughts about a certain issue or topic in the english medium without disregarding sense, logic and fluency. furthermore, eloquence is the key to an impressive parliamentary demonstration as this admittedly intimidates other competitors which consequently demoralizes them. aside from this, a proper parliamentary meeting requires members who speak clearly for the benefit of everyone simply for the purpose of hassle-free communication.
  3. TECHNICALITIES- also, one should be well versed of the parliamentary rules in order to garner sustained points of order and hold an organized meeting. this is another essential factor of being a parliamentarian since the core of being one relies on the maintenance and following of proper parliamentary proceedings.
~o~

to be honest, this is the first year in three years that i actually feel unsure of winning. this is primarily because of the lack of new members who are competent enough to uphold the legacy of the previous parliamentary members and the legacy we will leave them with. however, i still hope that they will earn the reputation of being true parliamentarians as they thrive to improve in the craft that i hold so dear.
  • competitiveness- the ability to represent one side of a battle commensurately in the absence of cowardice and pomposity.

p.s. please pray for our victory in this upcoming regional step skills development and competition on october 15-17 in naga city.

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of beaches, gambling sprees and responsibilities

Author: zereporthej /


for the first time in a long time, my weekend was an eventful one.
[especially because my mom was out for two days]


october 11, saturday morning, 6:30 am was the scheduled time and date for the BUCET for most of the science oriented students of TNHS. the day before, ephrem told me that we'd be going together which actually perked me up since i hated lone walks as well as commutations [i'm not that good of a navigator.lol]. i woke up at 5:30 am the next day and found myself drifting off to sleep again which rejects its validity as wake-up-time. i officially woke up at 6:00 am and realized that 30 minutes won't suffice my hygienic needs and transportation so i hurried into the bathroom, took a meager shower, [it didn't matter because i'm naturally clean.haha.seriously] put on some random clothes, crammed my permit in my bag and scurried off to ephrem's house. we rode a padyak tricycle to BUCET and my eyes wandered to find that the padyak driver was wearing rubber shoes. what the heck, i wasn't even wearing shoes to take the entrance test and this padyak driver was. lol. anyway, i distinctly told him to go to BUTC to ensure that we get there even in just the nick of time. as we were passing through the national road, the padyak driver turned right and drove straight ahead. ephrem was recalling over and over that BU was in that street i doubted it[.lol.peace!]. i knew it was in the second street because it was near the house of someone i know. anyway, to make the long story short, instead of reaching BU, we arrived at a dead end. when we finally got there, the briefing for the test had already started.

the test lasted for three hours. after that, i was informed that there was a practice for the broadcasting competition it would've been okay if i didn't have a preconceived get-together in my schedule [which btw was a more uhm 'exciting' one as many eye-candies waited for me. lol.] i decided not to go because i just wanted to hang out that afternoon just to break the monotony of the life of a fourth year highschool student.

when i got there with some friends, i expected that nothing wrong would happen because the broadcasting practice would've probably been cancelled. much to my dismay, it wasn't. at two hours running, someone texted me that our coach was infuriated by my absence so the nerves got to me, especially when i received a text saying be responsible. nevertheless, i still didn't go there, what we did was too precious to dismiss. [lol]

be responsible. the phrase resounded in my head for what seemed like eternity. i should have been enraged, i could have but i didn't because she was right. i had been postponing academic work for petty goings-on. as i sat on the wooden chair of lester's house, my brain [which btw has a life of its own] revealed to me the essence of responsibility. it's not just mere submission of what needs be on due time or a turn-up to a significant, urgent practice, it's the sustenance of the balance in one's life. and that's what i needed to achieve. balance.

~o~

the next day, sunday was another concrete proof of the imbalance in my life.


because it was sunday, i was supposed to be in the church listening to pastor's sermons, semi-green jokes and outrageous grammatical errors. [don't get me wrong, i love our pastor and the protestant ways; it's just in my nature not to overlook breaches in grammar.] but instead i was riding a jeepney heading for sogod bacacay, where i was invited to attend a feast for sogod's barangay fiesta. we also planned to go to the beach so i brought extra clothes just in case.

the previous day's incidents had faded from my thinking which left my thoughts meandering through the food we were about to eat and the serenity to be offered by the dreamland beach resort.

julie's mother [julie, my classmate who lived in sogod] prepared mouth watering dishes of atsara, fried chicken, kaldereta and chopsuey. i could almost taste the food just by merely looking at it. we didn't just eat, we devoured. providing us energy for the whole afternoon to be spent at the beach.

after we ate,we allowed the 'tortured' food to be digested and directly went to dreamland where a horizon of peace and life made me become oblivious of the chaos around me and simply contemplate about the simplest little things. like happiness, the very emotion i was feeling. being with the company of friends compensated with whatever may befall me as consequence for my irresponsibility.

and of course, the warm beach that caressed every part of me as i swam through the waves gave nature a spot in my life. who knew that nirvana can almost be found underwater, no responsibilities, just the simple pleasure of not thinking but feeling. for hours and hours, i ventured into the sea in search for whatever would make me forget. about every little thing that shattered my sanity; friendship, love and education.

~o~

as the afternoon was about to end, we went to the 'peryahan' where luck, at least for me was nowhere to be found. it was as if i was preordained to lose 1 peso each time i placed it on the hands of luck. whereas the others even earned money that would be sufficient for cellphone load and fare. although i enjoyed it to the bones, gambling still puts a pricetag on happiness which directly runs counter to the idea that i would naturally endorse. but this case is an exception. after all, we have many definitive reasons for happiness whether it be of anything on or beyond earth.

we rode the jeepney home and we started parting ways, saying our goodbyes, instilling in our heads that there will be a next time, and this, for me was a social responsibility.
sorry for my melodramatic approach on this matter, i just needed to make sure that my sense of appreciation for life and its purpose has not yet left its little spot in my brain.

responsibility - the ability to dominate one's sense of obligation for the common good while not jeopardizing any and all other aspects.









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the lizard and the butterfly

Author: zereporthej /

when i got back from school, drenched with sweat and exhausted from a long walk home, i immediately changed my clothes and laid on my bed. i closed my eyes for a few minutes to catch my breath and the previous hours' happenings flashed before me. the whole day, although it wasn't apparent, i was complaining about almost everything; that the sun was too hot, so many lessons missed [because of being excused from classes], not having perfected the parliamentary procedures, the poor service in the canteen, my damaged bag, my lost pen, the broken love affair of two friends, my complicated situation with a female counterpart and much more [i could go on forever. lol].

i opened my eyes and saw this fluttering little brown butterfly rest on the wall against me, as if taking a nap after a long day [just like me]. seconds after, a grayish-green lizard appeared from out of the blue. it was almost theatrical, i even imagined a happy, colorful scene disrupted by the villain with a sinister laugh. the lizard stayed about three inches away from the butterfly for what felt like a lifetime, seemingly calculating every move of his dinner. the lizard took it one step at a time. and when his dinner was ensured, he took the chance and advanced the butterfly. with its mouth wide open, the lizard bit the butterfly in the most barbaric way, consequently being eaten alive. still fluttering in the lizard's mouth, the butterfly was slowly withdrawing its existence just because it rested in a spot where a lizard was also incidentally present. the lizard, on the other hand, did no crime or injustice since if he had not done what has just been done, he would have committed a crime against his own life. it was just a matter of chance. being in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong presence.

this revealed right in front of my very eyes, how short life can be, how it can end in just seconds, and how it can end so painfully.

i realized that, cliche as it may seem, LIFE or its end is an unpredictable phenomenon. i could die next year, tomorrow or tonight or even right now while i'm writing about it. while we're still walking here on earthly grounds, we should learn how to appreciate life and everything it offers us; boundless gifts of nature, the privilege of co-existence and the miracle of love in friendships and romance.

live life to the fullest in order for you to receive the fullest blessings that life can offer.


  • LIFE - a limited luxury wherein the weak in the sense of wisdom suffer and the strong at heart, faith and insight linger.
  • appreciation- the greatest form of recognition.

1 comments

on chess pieces and scrabble tiles

Author: zereporthej /

for two weeks now, mr. buan [our pe and health teacher] has been using up his saliva explaining how chess and scrabble should be played. fortunately, i was spared from staring at his glaring forehead as i was excused almost three quarters of the time he was blabbering about those board games emceeing and practicing for the parliamentary procedures. it's good that i have nothing to worry about because i am a master in scrabble [i'm serious. i won in our group's battle. lol] and, i know the movements of chess pieces although i'm still a neophyte [but at least i was able to defeat rhozen in my first amateur chess battle].

mr. buan tells us; "okay soo da tses and da iscrabble are recreational actibities okay, so we will hab awer praktikum awtside." okayokay. and so today, was practicum day. and, might i say, the first time i attended his class in a long time.

he asked us to group ourselves alphabetically having five members. grr. just because my surname starts in p and i happen to be b11 which is not a multiple of five, i'm excluded from the boy's group. grr, really. instead i got grouped with two other female outcasts and we formed this little triumverate. me, rhozen and diana. i have nothing against them but something about competing with a girl discomforts me. anyway that's not even the point. we started playing. and words started to be conjured up from the scrabble tiles. and for my first word; 'this'. which spells empty brain. well, at least i had the highest point. and for my last word; 'tax'. which spelled triumph in our race-to-50-points-game.

i didn't make such a big deal out of it since i'm used to being the winner in a scrabble session. so, i moved on watching the others drool on how they're going to win. until the defeated rhozen invited me for a game of chess. my heart pounded because i'm not well-versed in this game nor do i know the winning tactics. all i know is that the knight moves in an L shape the pawn only forward, the bishop diagonally, the rook vertically and horizontally, the queen in all directions and the king, above all else, he should be protected. all my mind was telling me was that it was only a game. but my heart tells me not to humiliate myself. the game began.

for some reason, the twists of destiny was on my side because although i did not know how to play, i won hands down. and it seemed like the chesspieces were congratulating me while the ones i 'killed' looked as if they really have died in my hands. lol. yey me. that ended my schoolday. two victories. one carefully thought of in a technical manner as if premeditated upon and the other allowed to be controlled by mere luck.

you probably think that what i'm writing about is non-sensical but i can extract some essence from it.

in every game, there will always be only two end-ups and two paths to triumph. just like in the case of chess and scrabble. you will either win or lose. but what really intrigued me was how different my strategies or lack of it were in the two games which later proved that luck and expertise although distinctly dissimilar can lead you to one location but with a groundbreaking difference.
to be an expert, one needs to be excellent whereas to be lucky one simply needs to be lucky.
it's merely like safety and taking the risk.
and taking the risk makes the difference. being safe doesnt ensure happiness or loneliness rather, it ensures hallow emotion.
risktaking gives the privelege of not knowing what will happen next, the feeling of excitement and emotional rush and discovery. consequently pinpointing courage and cowardice. the former for risktakers and the latter for safety ensurers.
just tale the road less travelled by and defeat your inner demons.
be able to say chackmate black king.
live out loud.
be unafraid to take risks.
  • luck: an eventful turn that defies the principle of default and expectation.
  • expertise: a state of excellence that results to success and emotional stagnation.






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the end; analyzed.

Author: zereporthej / Labels:

it's quite ironic to talk about the end in my first post.
but i know of nothing else (yet) to write about. so, here i go;

the end can be logically justified by so many reasons but it can never, ever be associated to what many call, the finish line.
[since i've only just started blogging, i will talk about portions of my not-so-distant past]
my last high school year started just like any other, filled with excitement, gusts of summer-paused friendships, the usual authoritative aura of tnhs and the smell of new supplies waiting to be worn out by schoolwork. but one thing seemed different, at least for me.
the past three years was defined by seemingly eternal petty chats, joyous moments, and joke sessions that resumed as soon as the 08-09 school year opened. and people started hanging out with their 'preferred' cliques once again, and those people included me. as so many factions comprise a cluster of people, it would be hard to be left alone with the company of no one but yourself and so i decided to carry on with the barkada that i was accustomed to. the barkada although i refused to believe it, was slowly decomposing. unfortunately the truth never fails to prevail. the chats became awkward exchange of words, the moments of joy was replaced by inexplicable absurdity and the jokes evolved into forced humor.
first of all, i needed to probe the causes of the dispersion of the members of this barkada and the answer i retreived was indecipherable except for the answer that materialized from myself. no matter how we try to save a dying plant, or stop a dawning sun, the principle of futileness will prove itself and we can do nothing about it. simply put, anything or better yet, everything is bound to end by destiny.
as for the answer, i discovered that because i was surrounded by people whom i did not actually know how to relate to and who didn't actually know how to relate to me in a manner known to my reasons, i was slowly drifting away. and the only thing that can save or at least preserve this friendship was by dropping out of it. i've come to understand that in order to find a remedy to this ailing friendship, i must find myself. it may have been motivated by selfish reasons but it was a vital tool for the mute harmony to produce sound once again. and that was my resolution.
to this day, i have been successfully following my agenda and even formed new bonds with now, significant people in a life that had just beem lost, and sought. i saved the old and constructed a new. i can only believe that until the end, i would never cease to make decisions that will break the finish line. and with this to hold on to, i am happy.

note:i entitled my blog as it is because at the end of each post i intend to define in my own viewpoint as opposed to webster, or the encyclopedias.
  • end: a psychological manifestation of terror and fear of void and of melancholy however, it is actually characterized by the mere accomplishment of what needs to be done and neutralization of what is devoid of worth in order for another purpose to arise.
  • finish line: the absolute end.




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