it's quite ironic to talk about the end in my first post.
but i know of nothing else (yet) to write about. so, here i go;
the end can be logically justified by so many reasons but it can never, ever be associated to what many call, the finish line.
but i know of nothing else (yet) to write about. so, here i go;
the end can be logically justified by so many reasons but it can never, ever be associated to what many call, the finish line.
[since i've only just started blogging, i will talk about portions of my not-so-distant past]
my last high school year started just like any other, filled with excitement, gusts of summer-paused friendships, the usual authoritative aura of tnhs and the smell of new supplies waiting to be worn out by schoolwork. but one thing seemed different, at least for me.
the past three years was defined by seemingly eternal petty chats, joyous moments, and joke sessions that resumed as soon as the 08-09 school year opened. and people started hanging out with their 'preferred' cliques once again, and those people included me. as so many factions comprise a cluster of people, it would be hard to be left alone with the company of no one but yourself and so i decided to carry on with the barkada that i was accustomed to. the barkada although i refused to believe it, was slowly decomposing. unfortunately the truth never fails to prevail. the chats became awkward exchange of words, the moments of joy was replaced by inexplicable absurdity and the jokes evolved into forced humor.
first of all, i needed to probe the causes of the dispersion of the members of this barkada and the answer i retreived was indecipherable except for the answer that materialized from myself. no matter how we try to save a dying plant, or stop a dawning sun, the principle of futileness will prove itself and we can do nothing about it. simply put, anything or better yet, everything is bound to end by destiny.
as for the answer, i discovered that because i was surrounded by people whom i did not actually know how to relate to and who didn't actually know how to relate to me in a manner known to my reasons, i was slowly drifting away. and the only thing that can save or at least preserve this friendship was by dropping out of it. i've come to understand that in order to find a remedy to this ailing friendship, i must find myself. it may have been motivated by selfish reasons but it was a vital tool for the mute harmony to produce sound once again. and that was my resolution.
to this day, i have been successfully following my agenda and even formed new bonds with now, significant people in a life that had just beem lost, and sought. i saved the old and constructed a new. i can only believe that until the end, i would never cease to make decisions that will break the finish line. and with this to hold on to, i am happy.
note:i entitled my blog as it is because at the end of each post i intend to define in my own viewpoint as opposed to webster, or the encyclopedias.
my last high school year started just like any other, filled with excitement, gusts of summer-paused friendships, the usual authoritative aura of tnhs and the smell of new supplies waiting to be worn out by schoolwork. but one thing seemed different, at least for me.
the past three years was defined by seemingly eternal petty chats, joyous moments, and joke sessions that resumed as soon as the 08-09 school year opened. and people started hanging out with their 'preferred' cliques once again, and those people included me. as so many factions comprise a cluster of people, it would be hard to be left alone with the company of no one but yourself and so i decided to carry on with the barkada that i was accustomed to. the barkada although i refused to believe it, was slowly decomposing. unfortunately the truth never fails to prevail. the chats became awkward exchange of words, the moments of joy was replaced by inexplicable absurdity and the jokes evolved into forced humor.
first of all, i needed to probe the causes of the dispersion of the members of this barkada and the answer i retreived was indecipherable except for the answer that materialized from myself. no matter how we try to save a dying plant, or stop a dawning sun, the principle of futileness will prove itself and we can do nothing about it. simply put, anything or better yet, everything is bound to end by destiny.
as for the answer, i discovered that because i was surrounded by people whom i did not actually know how to relate to and who didn't actually know how to relate to me in a manner known to my reasons, i was slowly drifting away. and the only thing that can save or at least preserve this friendship was by dropping out of it. i've come to understand that in order to find a remedy to this ailing friendship, i must find myself. it may have been motivated by selfish reasons but it was a vital tool for the mute harmony to produce sound once again. and that was my resolution.
to this day, i have been successfully following my agenda and even formed new bonds with now, significant people in a life that had just beem lost, and sought. i saved the old and constructed a new. i can only believe that until the end, i would never cease to make decisions that will break the finish line. and with this to hold on to, i am happy.
note:i entitled my blog as it is because at the end of each post i intend to define in my own viewpoint as opposed to webster, or the encyclopedias.
- end: a psychological manifestation of terror and fear of void and of melancholy however, it is actually characterized by the mere accomplishment of what needs to be done and neutralization of what is devoid of worth in order for another purpose to arise.
- finish line: the absolute end.
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1 comments:
so that was the case.,
hmm.,
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